Thanks man, I tried to keep mindful of the rhythm but it may not come out the same way on the page as it does in my head; the second and third verses particularly.
Here is another one which is more like a poem than a song. Let me know what you think:
Home
I see home sharp in your eyes
I opened,
drove in
stairs sever my feet
like a saw metres high
with no sighs
no one sought
to explain why there's blood in the street
so
bare me your teeth and body both
entreat of me one good solid plod
down the cage of your breast
and
I shall anoint
the first stillborn metaphor
I can find
quaffing curds
off
April-shaped arrows
I found trapped in your chest
cleaving you from your words
leaving you for the birds
I shall name that lie in your throat
I shall name it Lester, for luck
and drown him in truth
like an oil-downed duck.
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