I am so unhappy with my relationships right now, all of them. Being in the presence of my colleague leaves me so lonely every day that I reach out to the dozens of friends and acquaintances I supposedly made over the last year, but all of my friendships were conditional and based on shared space. All of them were a product of attending the same classes 4 days a week, and now that this framework has come down, there's really nothing left of my friends. Everyone is constantly too busy to make plans, or too busy to follow through on them. All I'm really asking is for is to have some company when I'm alone and unoccupied in the evenings, so I don't have to ruminate with myself. It's disheartening how having a dozen friends is actually worse than having none, because there wasn't a sense of loss before I made them.
I'm entirely certain there is nothing on the other end of this friendship with my work partner, maybe not even friendship. I have somewhere between 1 month and 2.5 before we go our separate ways, and even though I know that's probably for the best, it's gradually making me frustrated and angry with everyone in my life.
I've got a no-win situation on my hands, and the most frustrating, unjust part is that this time, for the first time in my life, I didn't create this situation for myself. Every other social ****-up I've ever had has at least been mine. I don't think I deserve this, this time.
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