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Old 01-01-2006, 10:22 AM   #15 (permalink)
Crazy Luv
a l'amou fou pou tout
 
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 355
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SabrinaMaher
this is a poem i wrote a few months ago... anyways i think it would make a alright song.. haha.. thoughts anyone hahahha!... god i annoy myself sometimes..
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Scream Reaper


You say your strong
I think your weaker
you say you’re slipping
I think you should go deeper
you say your feeling better
I think you’re a lying faker

Can you see your face in my eyes?
Can you look beyond your lies?
I hope you ****ing die

You say you’re beautiful
I think you’re un-natural
You say you’re powerful
I think you’re unfaithful
You say you’re something special
I think you’re so ugly it’s unbelievable

Can you see your soul in mine?
Can you really say your fine?
I hear you speak but I want you to close your mouth

how can you be so ****ing mean?
I think you should look at me

See the pain that you bleed
the bolded parts are the parts i think that needs to be looked at. some parts need to be changed, some need to be shorten'd, & some dont need to be there at all or changed completely. Other than that i like it, the first verse/stanza..whatever especially.
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