Quote:
|
Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog
anonymous visage haunts my uninvolved thoughts.
The other just words that create the void, standing, sitting
There among old photos and love letters.
|
I felt that word didn't quite fit. I don't know if it's just me but that sentence is quite long and I thought that as i got closer to the end, this word held me up a little. Though it might have been because I was trying to take as much meaning from it as I could while I was still reading. Anyway, I just thought maybe a word like "dormant"...or "neglected" might flow a little steadier?
I like it. It's a very scenic piece.