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Old 01-04-2006, 11:52 AM   #12 (permalink)
MusicStudent4Life
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: cali
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This song is really touching. Since a friend of mine passed away almost 2 years ago that first verse really hit me.

But I think that you could make this even better. For instance, in the first verse you never state your relationship to this person, or how they died. Most importantly, the WHY this person's death affected you in this way is somewhat unclear. You state, "I wouldn't have made it this far without you," but in what? life? love? wisdom? How did this person help get you to where you where?

In songwriting, it's so easy to let our emotions get the best of us. That's a wonderful thing because that's the whole point of music, to convey and evoke emotions, but it's important to always remember that the audience only knows as much as you're willing to tell them. I think that if this beautiful song were to elaborate more on this person rather than so much on the fact that they're gone this could be a really great song.
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