the imagery is good, and I'm sure if I spent a little more time with ti I'd be able to tell what exactly you're conveying with this song, but it is a little garbled. The metaphors and symbols you use are all disconected from eachother, first it's omega and the sun, then chords and thread etc etc. That kind of writing can work well, but I think the problem is that because it's a shorter song, the metaphors themselves don't get a chance to fully develop.
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What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways
Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.
HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER
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