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Old 01-25-2006, 06:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default He Climbed, Then he descened into the darkness

O how The Lovesick burn
in an eternal flame
Let us discend into the nothingness
You my love are the omega
And I, I am The Sun.
Let my fire cast hatred onto
these solemn streets.
And our hands lock like
these cells in which we keep our hearts.
The chords wrapped around our throat
spin with the thread of needles.
The Ultimatum from which were up against
is like an ocean in whihc we all drown.
And here you are once again
sweet, sweet apathy...
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
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What the hell....please tell us what this is about..or what you were going for, or something.
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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not all songs need to have meaning. this one may, simply because of the nature of it, but a lot of songs are just rambling.

i think this song is pretty good. it seems like it has some deeper meaning that is hidden by the sheer poetry of the song. good work.
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Remember kids: It's only real metal if the vocalist sounds like he's vomiting up a fetus. \m/
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PerFeCTioNThrUSileNCe
not all songs need to have meaning. this one may, simply because of the nature of it, but a lot of songs are just rambling.

i think this song is pretty good. it seems like it has some deeper meaning that is hidden by the sheer poetry of the song. good work.

im wondering what the "deeper meaning" is
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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maybe thats what he is aiming for. he doesnt want people to know the deeper meaning...he just wants them to think its there.
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How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know.
Why do I start what I can't finish?
Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers.
My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it.
But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore..
maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooting Star
Remember kids: It's only real metal if the vocalist sounds like he's vomiting up a fetus. \m/
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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thats beautiful...really. but i would like to know what he has to say.

edit: he just wants them to think its there
isnt it he just wants them to think about it, not think its there. cause if you say that, that means he never had a deeper meaning that he didnt want ppl to know
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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the imagery is good, and I'm sure if I spent a little more time with ti I'd be able to tell what exactly you're conveying with this song, but it is a little garbled. The metaphors and symbols you use are all disconected from eachother, first it's omega and the sun, then chords and thread etc etc. That kind of writing can work well, but I think the problem is that because it's a shorter song, the metaphors themselves don't get a chance to fully develop.
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Old 01-26-2006, 07:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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good point. but i think that it flows well, and its "abstractness" in the sense of the metaphors, make it good.
__________________
How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know.
Why do I start what I can't finish?
Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers.
My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it.
But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore..
maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooting Star
Remember kids: It's only real metal if the vocalist sounds like he's vomiting up a fetus. \m/
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