i wish i could write songs like that. i can never come up with anything.
i like it a lot, it flows really well and all, theres only one part that i would change:
Quote:
I run through these hallways and up to these altars with a bag of sand (held in each hand)
The shelves hold their files and all the meanwhile (this hole in my chest wasn’t planned)
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if that is the part youre planning on having screamed, the part i highlighted messes up the flow a little bit. the part that (im guessing) is sung, is a too short, and the part that is screamed (again, assuming the part in the parentheses is screamed) is too long. depending on the tempo of the song, and the vocal style...that might throw it off a little bit.
maybe not, but that was the vibe that i got when i read that part.
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How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know.
Why do I start what I can't finish?
Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers.
My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it.
But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore..
maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Shooting Star
Remember kids: It's only real metal if the vocalist sounds like he's vomiting up a fetus. \m/
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