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Old 02-19-2006, 03:08 AM   #2 (permalink)
TrampInaTux
that's my war face.
 
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Join Date: Nov 2005
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It's alright. The end line is awful though, get rid of that. And I think you could have played out the hallucinations thing more-hallucinations are always a good thing to write about, and you seem to have skipped through them and not gone to deep. Also I really doubt that mixing pills with alcohol would cause so much of an effect that tables seem as though they are on walls and everything around you changes. It would make you sick then probably knock you unconscious. It seems as though you have a Disney like mind on getting hammered.
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