Music Banter - View Single Post - Tale from the estate #5-Tell him no
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Old 02-22-2006, 07:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
Crashing Sun
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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The only problem I have with this is that the narrator doesn't actually do anything about it. I'm not saying he has to on any morale grounds but it's another undeveloped scene or a snapshot with no before or after just now. Each verse mimics the last pretty much or just reinforces it. I could see it working as an atmospheric observation so that's probably just my preference. Good job.
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