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Originally Posted by Oriphiel
You mean like how I wrote that big ass on-topic query that only Chiomara addressed? I'm actually kinda disappointed that adidass didn't respond at all. Really wanted to get his opinion.
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You kind of put down a lot of thoughts that required some elaborate responses that I didn't really have time to get into and Chiomara addressed a lot of them but because you asked nicely here's at least a bit of a response...
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Originally Posted by Oriphiel
Here's something I've been thinking about lately if you guys want to discuss it:
How much does someone's sexual orientation affect their personality? Like, if you suddenly realized that you want to start experimenting, or deep down you want to switch genders, and so on, how much do you think it would change the core of your person?
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This is really complicated, I don't have a lot of experience on this topic since I simply went through a "everyone expects me to be straight so I guess I am and I don't even know what gay is" phase to suddenly becoming aware that I'm attracted to men. I've never looked back since, once I had the eureka moment I really had no doubts or second guesses.
Obviously I think I am a very different person being gay than I would have been straight, there are loads of specific sub-culture elements and particularities to the gay experience that have influenced also on how I react to the world in general (like for example, I think gay people are normally a bit more resilient than the rest of the population, since being hated on by the majority of the planet kind of makes you either become extra strong and sure of yourself or you end up suicidal unfortunately, we are probably more open to different people and ideas, less prone to be conservative etc).
But did I suddenly start being a different person since I've self-actualized (is that the right word?) as a gay person, I don't think so. Sexual orientation doesn't have much to do with empathy, I think you're either born with it or not.
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But here's my real question that I've been leading up to:
Was the movie Chasing Amy an awful and bigoted piece of trash, or was it actually a pretty smart look at problems that we all have to this day? People always **** on it because the girl (who identifies as a lesbian) ends up falling in love with a guy. They see it as some sort of commentary that all lesbians are just pretending, or something like that.
But I think the point was that sexual orientation isn't always clear cut. People always say "Being gay isn't a choice", and that's certainly true for some people, but for others, it takes a lot of experimentation before they really figure out who/what they want from life. And yet so many people, both LGBT and straight, look down on people who are unsure, especially when they say they're one orientation but then change their mind. They look at them like they're a traitor, or a faker, or something, when they're just trying to figure out what's what.
So, like, is the movie actually kinda insightful in that way? Did people misunderstand it?
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I really don't remember that movie at all, but I can tell you that once some years ago a friend of a friend made a comment to me that she could turn me straight (or she would try or something like that), that I felt was totally disrespectful and just plumb stupid. In a country as homophobic as Croatia, you can be quite sure that if a man comes out as gay, there is really no doubt left in his mind. To imply someone could try to change that means that you don't really understand how sexuality normally works.
Again, I don't know what happened in the movie, and you makes some good points about people experimenting and finding themselves, some even argue that sexuality can be fluid. But I think these things are very rare. Normally people are quite sure about their sexual preferences, and I guess I understand the criticism, especially because the character was a woman, identifying as a lesbian, ending up being interested in a man. If I was a lesbian, probably I would be a little upset by this idea. It's curious but,.as far as I know, there has never been a movie where a gay guy is being wooed by a straight woman that ends up falling for her. For some reason, the assumption is that gay men are quite sure, but gay women could be swayed (by some choice dick I guess), which is sexist, and movie depictions of this kind of trope really don't help. So...:/
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Originally Posted by Kiiii
In my lifetime, I've had short relationships with men. Nothing too serious or anything. It was during a time of my life when I was still figuring **** out. I don't necessarily identify with a specific sexuality since I don't really know how to phrase that I find anyone attractive. But I'm rarely even sexually attracted to someone.
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Maybe pansexual or asexual? They have a name for everything basically but not identifying with something is ok too...as long as you go for whatever you want (or don't want)...
