Quote:
I don’t wanna be/
I just wanna break free from me
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This phrase lets the lyric down quite a lot. It does actually fit with the meaning of the song, which is quite surprising because I've seen similar phrases used probably hundreds of times in other songs where they've made no sense at all. Unfortunately, these two lines still sound very cliched. As they are positioned to be the hookline for the song it'd be better if you can come up with something more unique to put in their place.
That's the main thing you should change, there are other lines which could use work, for example:
Quote:
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Or at that tower where I started to die
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1. I don't understand what this line means.
2. It looks like it'll be too long to fit into a good melody. Of course, this depends on the music but even if it does fit in its current form you might find it'll sound better if you shorten it, make it punchier.
There must be other lines, but once again I don't have time to go into it more.