jibber

haha, i don't think it's a matter of it being bad, probably most people realize that they'd have to put in a real effort to critique a song that's a little more complex in terms of theme and content, so they shy away.

anyways, i see what you mean about it not being you're typical lyrics, to me it seems a little more structured than the stuff you usually post, but I have to say I like the change. I love the fact that you've kept the structure of the verses and chorus's pretty strict and consistent, because it allows the song to flow perfectly; while still managing to keep the lyrics interesting and not sounding forced. and I love the way the chorus's have subtle differences every time, good call on that.

the only critiques i can think of are really minor.

on the wings of the morning blinds the sun
underneath all the heaven's doom to come

just the logistics of this line seem somewhat off to me. The two lines seem disconnected in a way, it starts off as almost a kind of personification of the sun, and yet that never really gets resolved, we never find out exactly what the sun is doing. I love the imagery of it, but i can't seem to really make sense of it as there seems to be missing some elements.

that's pretty much it, other than that, I absolutely love it, too bad i didn't see it the first time you posted it, because I think I like this one the best of all the one's you've posted, i'd love to see you try some more in a similar style, because it seems to work really well.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

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