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Old 04-08-2006, 05:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
DontRunMeOver
They call me Tundra Boy
 
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hobojesus
We knew this a while ago
but only shared it today
they told us tomorrow
and we predicted it fine
we'll lie beneath the stairs
hands over our ears
we declare war on you
the suburbs of peace

Leave in my will
my last chance
leave in my will
save the last dance
leave in my will
hide from your face
leave in my will
all over the place

My design is unique
although I stay the same
we heard the marching
no words were shared
let's defeat hearts
let's run over hills
I know something new
it makes me feel alive

leave in my will
my last chance
leave in my will
save the last dance
leave in my will
hide from your face
leave in my will
all over the place
I don't quite get what its about, but it sounds ok. Apart from the three lines I've underlined, which are rubbish, rubbish, rubbish. I'd say these three lines, for a chorus which requires something original, are way too cliched. If you're telling a very clear story then maybe you could get away with them, but this lyric is more ambiguous so you could do with words which sound more original and make people think more in the chorus.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katyppfan View Post
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
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