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Old 12-13-2019, 07:05 PM   #86 (permalink)
one-balled nipple jockey
OccultHawk's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 21,205

imo it’s too straightforward

It’s like a paragraph about night terrors

it should be more cryptic and less transparent

A poem about dreams should have a dreamy quality to it

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