Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Today was my first visit to a clinic since getting 86ed by my last doc. My new doc is actually an NP. She has a therapist that she said is a friend and I need to see her before I get back on my meds. She said she can’t just write scripts unless I’m making some kind of effort in therapy. She talked to me today longer than my other doctor did over the course of several visits. She also said that lots of doctors are trying to drop their mental health patients. After looking over all the paperwork I brought from my last doctor she asked me if I thought I might have PTSD. I said I was constantly terrorized as a kid at home and she said yeah people carry that around with them for a long time.

Sigh. That’s a really long time...

Also, she heard me out on my complaints about therapists who practice independent of someone with medical training. The therapist I’m seeing is also an NP with a specialization in psychiatry which is important to me.

I guess the goal of my therapy will be to get off Xanax. It’s going to be ****ing brutal but whatever. I mean not whatever it’s just something I have to do. Or maybe not.

I think maybe the pain you gotta feel has to be felt. If you mask it with drugs and booze it’s still going to be in there like water being held by a dam. You still gotta pay the piper.

What sucks is that if you were abused as a kid going through the abuse was terrible and painful. It seems like damn that should be enough because you paid upfront. But nope you gotta pay again and maybe again again after that.

I’m so ****ing glad I never had a kid to **** up.

Abused Children May Get Unique Form of PTSD | TIME.com

This study was done at the hospital where I was born lol