I'm now getting to the "Maybe I shouldn't be on medication" phase. This always happens. "It's normal for me to feel like I'm underwater in a dream all the time. Medication prevents me from seeing and feeling the true nature of reality and of myself. If I'm not constantly suffering then I am weak. If I am weak/complacent, if I'm not in a constant hyper-vigilant state, then things unseen could slither in from the dark and harm me." (And other such ptsd-induced nonsense.)
edit: found an inpatient treatment center that accepts my medicaid, they want me to do the inpatient program, about to go meet with them to make sure there's no issues with the medicaid and such. And if there's not I'll be staying there for the next week or so. bye!
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formerly Chiomara
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