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Old 06-16-2020, 02:23 PM   #2491 (permalink)
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I'm now getting to the "Maybe I shouldn't be on medication" phase. This always happens. "It's normal for me to feel like I'm underwater in a dream all the time. Medication prevents me from seeing and feeling the true nature of reality and of myself. If I'm not constantly suffering then I am weak. If I am weak/complacent, if I'm not in a constant hyper-vigilant state, then things unseen could slither in from the dark and harm me." (And other such ptsd-induced nonsense.)
edit: found an inpatient treatment center that accepts my medicaid, they want me to do the inpatient program, about to go meet with them to make sure there's no issues with the medicaid and such. And if there's not I'll be staying there for the next week or so. bye!
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Old 06-16-2020, 02:29 PM   #2492 (permalink)
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Medication prevents me from seeing and feeling the true nature of reality and of myself
Actually, I think you might be right on that part.
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Old 06-16-2020, 02:38 PM   #2493 (permalink)
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Good luck, I hope it will do some good.
Notions in your head which you know aren't true but still persist are the worst. That sheds some light for me on how people get in this on/off medication cycle (although I can imagine unpleasant side effects alone would do that).
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Old 06-16-2020, 03:18 PM   #2494 (permalink)
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I'm now getting to the "Maybe I shouldn't be on medication" phase. This always happens. "It's normal for me to feel like I'm underwater in a dream all the time. Medication prevents me from seeing and feeling the true nature of reality and of myself. If I'm not constantly suffering then I am weak. If I am weak/complacent, if I'm not in a constant hyper-vigilant state, then things unseen could slither in from the dark and harm me." (And other such ptsd-induced nonsense.)
edit: found an inpatient treatment center that accepts my medicaid, they want me to do the inpatient program, about to go meet with them to make sure there's no issues with the medicaid and such. And if there's not I'll be staying there for the next week or so. bye!
Good luck!! Happy for you
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Old 06-16-2020, 03:22 PM   #2495 (permalink)
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Actually, I think you might be right on that part.
Except our brains lie to us, especially our mentally ill brains.
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Old 06-16-2020, 04:20 PM   #2496 (permalink)
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Except our brains lie to us, especially our mentally ill brains.
That’s such a can of worms, that I opened, that digging deeper if we cared to would probably go best on another thread.

For here though yeah fair enough. Probably should’ve left that one alone.

Sorry Chio

Not saying don’t take your meds
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Old 06-16-2020, 08:58 PM   #2497 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by goldendoodle View Post
I'm now getting to the "Maybe I shouldn't be on medication" phase. This always happens. "It's normal for me to feel like I'm underwater in a dream all the time. Medication prevents me from seeing and feeling the true nature of reality and of myself. If I'm not constantly suffering then I am weak. If I am weak/complacent, if I'm not in a constant hyper-vigilant state, then things unseen could slither in from the dark and harm me." (And other such ptsd-induced nonsense.)
edit: found an inpatient treatment center that accepts my medicaid, they want me to do the inpatient program, about to go meet with them to make sure there's no issues with the medicaid and such. And if there's not I'll be staying there for the next week or so. bye!
Hope everything goes alright, man. I stopped taking my meds and started again recently to induce mania and get **** done. My brain is so ****ing fried, and driving to get my meds I almost got in an accident because of it. I hope you come back soon, we'll miss you, but we're happy you're getting help.
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Old 06-16-2020, 09:28 PM   #2498 (permalink)
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Not taking your meds as prescribed can make them lose their effectiveness. As well as your brain's ability to respond to them. It's really dangerous.
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Old 06-16-2020, 10:02 PM   #2499 (permalink)
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Not taking your meds as prescribed can make them lose their effectiveness. As well as your brain's ability to respond to them. It's really dangerous.
I know, it's just with everything that's been going on since I've been back has zapped all of my energy away. My room is cluttered, I was sleeping pretty much all day when I wasn't taking care of my animals, or eating, or working. I just tend to do things without really putting much thought into it. If I drink with friends, or get in a manic state I tend to be super positive and productive, and those moments are few and far between. I guess it's like using a hammer smash your hand when you're about to fall asleep or something. Just, it feels so good to be happy, productive, and wanting to talk and be friends with everyone. I haven't felt this good in weeks, and I just wish it would last.
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Old 06-17-2020, 12:15 AM   #2500 (permalink)
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But surely you see how that is counterprodctive
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