Quote:
Originally Posted by jwb
I have a different pov. I'm not sure which of us is more cynical.
You say people just superficially choose mates and that's why they're left unsatisfied. I think there's a spectrum but generally speaking people choose long term mates not just based on looks or gender tropes but on an emotional connection.
I just tend to think no matter how strong that connection... It's not infinitely strong. **** will start to get old eventually. You will each start to have your own personal drives while you cohabitate. It is perfectly natural to slowly drift apart. It's like erosion.
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My judgement is definitely coloured by my view of heterosexual relationships, and of course people will drift apart, but the fact that these nagging wife/mancaveman dynamics emerge is a gender role issue. And if you can't work it out and have that particular attitude towards each other (like the typical case of woman pestering man and complaining to her friends, man escaping and making sexist jokes about his wife/women in general at the bar) I think you should start questioning how much you had to offer each other in the first place.
Or for example Allen Ginsberg whining about how women chain you up and inhibit you in Howl. If men can be companions while you have your adventures and endeavours without stopping you, why not women? You're just picking someone incompatible because you're looking for someone to do your laundry.