Your Day

**Exo** · 03-09-2021, 11:21 AM

Take my wife! Please!

~~jwb~~ · 03-09-2021, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday

I'm aware that the man cave is basically the other side of the nagging wife coin, and I'm targeting both men and women.

I relate to that bit too btw, I work the same way. In many stereotypical gender dynamics I'm more like a man than a woman. The issue is that men and women push each other and themselves further in their little roles, treating each other almost like different species to the point where communication about your differences becomes virtually impossible.
Consider how men and women are usually uninterested in any connection with each other outside of their gender roles; for instance, they're rarely just friends without being attracted to each other. How are you gonna make a relationship work with someone you view that way?

I have a different pov. I'm not sure which of us is more cynical.

You say people just superficially choose mates and that's why they're left unsatisfied. I think there's a spectrum but generally speaking people choose long term mates not just based on looks or gender tropes but on an emotional connection.

I just tend to think no matter how strong that connection... It's not infinitely strong. **** will start to get old eventually. You will each start to have your own personal drives while you cohabitate. It is perfectly natural to slowly drift apart. It's like erosion.

Trollheart · 03-09-2021, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday

The nagging wife trope irks me, it's just such a dumb unnecessary thing. It's just a dynamic that husbands and wives get pushed into by gender conventions. If men stopped looking for silly childish princesses they have no connection with beyond thinking they're cute, and women stopped looking for dumb machos to take care of them, things would be much better.

Try having a nagging sister! All the hassle with none of the benefits.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ribbons

*** MEGA HIGH-FIVE ***

And I never nagged!

I'd be happy to be nagged by you for the rest of my life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

the man cave trope, which you brought up first, is also a gender stereotype and no less tied up in the same dynamic as the nagging wife trope. You're no less gendered in your approach than anyone else you just (naturally, as a lesbian) target men instead.

I dunno how much truth there is in this bit so don't take it like I'm posting it as gospel, it's just comedy but I do think there's at least an element of truth here which I strongly identify with:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

the use of the term "broads" was very intentional

At least you didn't say skirts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exo

Take my wife! Please!

Definition of mixed feelings: watching your mother in law going over a cliff in your brand new sports car.
Copyright, MCP MMCX - ah damn it with Roman numerals! 1968

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

I have a different pov. I'm not sure which of us is more cynical.

You say people just superficially choose mates and that's why they're left unsatisfied. I think there's a spectrum but generally speaking people choose long term mates not just based on looks or gender tropes but on an emotional connection.

I just tend to think no matter how strong that connection... It's not infinitely strong. **** will start to get old eventually. You will each start to have your own personal drives while you cohabitate. It is perfectly natural to slowly drift apart. It's like erosion.

More like entropy.

**Marie Monday** · 03-09-2021, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

I have a different pov. I'm not sure which of us is more cynical.

You say people just superficially choose mates and that's why they're left unsatisfied. I think there's a spectrum but generally speaking people choose long term mates not just based on looks or gender tropes but on an emotional connection.

I just tend to think no matter how strong that connection... It's not infinitely strong. **** will start to get old eventually. You will each start to have your own personal drives while you cohabitate. It is perfectly natural to slowly drift apart. It's like erosion.

My judgement is definitely coloured by my view of heterosexual relationships, and of course people will drift apart, but the fact that these nagging wife/mancaveman dynamics emerge is a gender role issue. And if you can't work it out and have that particular attitude towards each other (like the typical case of woman pestering man and complaining to her friends, man escaping and making sexist jokes about his wife/women in general at the bar) I think you should start questioning how much you had to offer each other in the first place.

Or for example Allen Ginsberg whining about how women chain you up and inhibit you in Howl. If men can be companions while you have your adventures and endeavours without stopping you, why not women? You're just picking someone incompatible because you're looking for someone to do your laundry.

Trollheart · 03-09-2021, 12:19 PM

ribbons · 03-09-2021, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I'd be happy to be nagged by you for the rest of my life.

How about I "nag" you behind the shycouch?

Trollheart · 03-09-2021, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ribbons

How about I "nag" you behind the shycouch?

Plankton · 03-09-2021, 12:59 PM

Spring is in the air, and so is the lurrrrrrve.

ribbons · 03-09-2021, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

We may need a fitted sheet for that couch.

ribbons · 03-09-2021, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plankton

Spring is in the air, and so is the lurrrrrrve.

Definitely springlike weather here today. Sun streaming through the windows as I type - beautiful.

03-09-2021, 11:21 AM	#74231 (permalink)
Exo All day jazz and biscuits Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 7,359	Take my wife! Please! __________________ LastFM SUPREME POO BAH MODERATOR EXTRAORDINAIRE

03-09-2021, 12:19 PM	#74235 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	__________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

03-09-2021, 12:59 PM	#74238 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,766	Spring is in the air, and so is the lurrrrrrve. __________________ See location...