1. Where were you when JFK was shot?
I have an alibi! I was four months old!
2. What's your favourite tipple (drink)?
Can't beat a strong cup of tea.
3. What's your eyesight like?
I think I'm longsighted rather than shortsighted, but without my glasses I can't see ****. Mind you, I often have to remove them in order to read.
4. Generally, do you trust people or are you always looking to see what their angle is?
I try to trust people. I usually regret it.
5. If you could go on a date with one celebrity who would it be?
Waits. The conversation would never flag. Couldn't keep up with his drinking though.
6. If you could be in - and survive - one historical battle which one would it be?
D-Day Normandy landings. Yeah I know it wasn't one battle. Allright then, Battle of Britain.
And now, some nonsense questions again:
1. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Because I'm so skinny and carrying bags of bird seed they probably think I'm a mobile bird feeder.
2. When will there be a harvest for the world?
When the crop is ripe enough.
3. Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?
The lepers in my head are all atheists, so no.
4. Why can't I get no Tang?
I think Reagan stole it all (what the **** is Tang anyway?)
5. How can I protect you in this crazy world?
Wear a ****ing mask and vaccinate!
6. What do you want from me?
Your money or your life.
Sorry, did I say your money or your life? Slip of the tongue, my apologies: I'm always doing that.
Your money AND your life!
BANG!
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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018
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