Music Banter - View Single Post - Crash test dummy (thankyou right-track)

riseagainstrocks · 04-30-2006, 01:56 PM

*practice

and the flow of the piece is thrown off by the chorus i think. Other than that, the person telling the story seems to jump around. in the first verse i thought it was the speaker contemplating jumping, and by the second verse it seems that he is rescuing. try and make it more clear.

other than that, it was a solid effort

04-30-2006, 01:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: DC Posts: 3,320	*practice and the flow of the piece is thrown off by the chorus i think. Other than that, the person telling the story seems to jump around. in the first verse i thought it was the speaker contemplating jumping, and by the second verse it seems that he is rescuing. try and make it more clear. other than that, it was a solid effort __________________ One note timeless, came out of nowhere...