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Old 04-30-2006, 02:23 AM   #1 (permalink)
that's my war face.
 
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Default Crash test dummy (thankyou right-track)

Standing on the bridge overlooking the water
trying to jump off it my body is starting to falter
I only get one shot so how do I intend to practise?
Well that's where you come in, stand by my side like this

My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry
My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry

Cold wind blows right by you stumble but I catch you
Don't fall off just yet that would be a disaster
Stand still stop flinching you're making the rope come loose
If you damage this one I haven't got another noose


My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry
My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry

Okay then this is it I'll meet you on the other side
Please just do this for me everything will be alright
Your legs look to weak to jump I'll push you if you wanna
Now there baby dry those eyes Daddy would never harm you
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Old 04-30-2006, 12:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
that's my war face.
 
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Come on people, post something. I want to know what you think about this one. This is the first time I've thought of the subject I'm going to write about beforehand, I usually just end up creating a subject as I go along.
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Old 04-30-2006, 01:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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*practice

and the flow of the piece is thrown off by the chorus i think. Other than that, the person telling the story seems to jump around. in the first verse i thought it was the speaker contemplating jumping, and by the second verse it seems that he is rescuing. try and make it more clear.

other than that, it was a solid effort
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Old 04-30-2006, 06:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Standing on the bridge overlooking the water,
trying to jump off my body starts to falter.
I only get one shot so how am I suppose to practice?
Well that's where you come in, stand by my side like this.

My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry
My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry

Cold wind blows right by. You stumble but I'm there.
Don't fall off just yet. One chance and none to spare.
Stand still. Stop Flinching. You're making the rope loose.
If you damage this one I don't have another noose.


My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry
My crash test crash test dummy
It'll be okay soon don't worry

Okay then this is it, I'll meet you on the other side.
Please just do this for me everything will be alright.
Your legs look too weak to jump. I'll push you if you wanna.
Now there baby dry those eyes Daddy would never harm you.


Somethings didnt flow to me. This is the way I'd rewrite it. Take and change what you want.
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Yeh Bit More Clearer I Think
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