DontRunMeOver

I liked 'tea' a lot. Its a very nice little poem. I can't tell if you did this recently or when you were a little kid, which makes it funnier.

Really not dancing... this one seemed less realistic than the other one (which was definitely very real and easy to picture while reading). There are a lot of lines that I don't really understand, or rather, maybe I did get them but they didn't really make sense.

"Progress to my bedroom window to make a silent call" (what does that mean? A phone call? Shouting at somebody without making noise? Have you ever actually done what you're describing, because I haven't!)

"See no change, but won’t allow myself to cry
That would reflect a flaw
Causing them to laugh, shift, and walk on by" (why would that make them walk on by?)

"Won’t stop until what I’m exclaiming is clearly read
Before I drowned in unconsciousness
That is exactly what I said"
(where did you say it? Did you say it to yourself? Did you say it in your silent call?)

I don't like it because I don't get it! Those are just individual lines, but I'd say the poem needs a big overhual to become good. As what you're describing is not an 'everybodys been there' situation, you'll need to do a lot more explaining and describing of what's going on. The poem would probably have to be quite a bit longer and broken up into verses to make more sense, so that you could set the scene better and all that.

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