This song's generally a lot better than the, um, other one of yours I just critiqued. Needs a chorus/hookline, you could use this one of yours
"Maybe dreams just keep us all trying
to Keep us from falling, from failing and dying
No guarentees that they aren't all lying
No guarentees that you wont die hiding"
Or maybe just the first two lines of that
"Maybe dreams just keep us all trying
to Keep us from falling, from failing and dying
Maybe dreams just keep us all trying
to Keep us from falling, from failing and dying"
Or something a bit shorter and simpler. Do it!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katyppfan
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
|
|