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Old 06-28-2006, 09:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
DontRunMeOver
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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I agree with Real_Eyez about which lines work the best. The line:

"Emotion flows too well
and I'm drifting into hell"

Is pretty weak, although its probably more a problem with the phrasing rather than specific words here ('hell' is a bit cheesy unless you're actually singing about hell itself, but the other words are all good).

"I'm here to say goodbye
you don't know why"

Seems a bit strange to me, as the direct language used in the rest of the piece (lots of imperatives, if that's the correct term...), makes 'you don't know why' come across as more of an order... like telling somebody that they don't know something, rather than describing the situation. Here, it might be better if you either use a softer phrase of some kind, or put in another definite instuction (like you used with 'hold my hand', 'you cant ask why'.
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Originally Posted by Katyppfan View Post
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
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