your ending confuses the hell outta me.
I sense there's a metaphor/ hidden meaning in there.
I just don't get it.
I've wracked my brain trying to play around with words and it just doesn't work. I think you need to actually touch base on a single idea instead of being so vague adn using phrases that can apply to just about anything
I have no sugestions but to write something that seems to have a subject that the reader can clearly focus in on. I don't think you can dot at with this.A nd most of these lines suck or seem so random when read with the rest of what you have.
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A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
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