A flurry of tears, dimming lights
A cacophony of silence
Baited breaths, snatched from the
Shores of a rapid flow
^ The only part I can truly say I enjoyed reading. The rest was boring, trite, and needs more meaning, as Ethan said. Your word choice, aside from the part I pasted, wasn't that great either, particularly verse one. Less commas.
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Quote:
Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:
What's with people dying? Shit.
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