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Old 02-12-2007, 04:24 AM   #7 (permalink)
that's my war face.
TrampInaTux's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,418

Originally Posted by swimintheundertow View Post
Please change path to road or something else. The rhyming made me cringe. Some cleaning up and making it more connected wouldn't hurt though all in all it's pretty good.
I didn't actually intend those words to rhyme.. I pronounce 'laugh' as 'larf'.

Maybe the next ones I write will be better... I'm not having another day in for a while, that's for sure.

Ta for the advice anyways, even though I'm really not gonna progress on this one.
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