Quote:
Do you remember my name
When I am silent?
Do you sometimes wake up at night
And wonder why?
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I know i've heard that second question in a song before, or something very similar to it. The first isn't that good either.
Quote:
How many reasons is there?
How many reasons to stop?
Not many to go on
Take chance and don't look back!
There is no reason to stay,
Why don't you take me with you
And leave it all behind?
Just let it stay unknown.
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These sound like bad hawthorne heights lyrics, and they're already pretty bad. The vocabulary just isn't interesting, and the subject is terrible.
Quote:
Do you remember the road
Leading you somewhere?
Do you sometimes try to move on
Where you left off?
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These questions are just so urgh, because they're so overdone.
Quote:
What it means to you
To lead you somewhere unknown?
If you chose to stay
You'll find your pain
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Great, another teen saying life is all pain!
Quote:
You won't remember my name
You won't remember at all
But if you chose to go
There might be chance for you
But if you chose to wake up
and don't keep dreaming your dream
We will be same as all
Again you'll be too late
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And i'm glad its over, this was just bad. Songs about suicide typically aren't that great, I mean you have some like Adam's Song that while not fantastic lyrics at least aren't cliche about it. Encouraging it, well I can't think of anyway to make that good. This is pretty awful, and its not just the subject the vocabulary and wording is bad to read.
I suggest you try and break out of the depressed teen box, and read some more books to expand your vocabulary as well as listen to Kayo Dot and Circle Takes The Square, or at least read the lyric or some poetry, Oscar Wilde or Robert Frost. Plus keep writing, just don't write about the same tired subjects that are all over the radio.