I see, but it's always like that when it's only been read. other than that, is the grammer okay?
I kinda seen what you meant, but the tune i wrote required alot of rythm because without it, it sound like it has been cut off yet rambling on too.
Quote:
I shed bloody tears in the rain
I was victimized and I'm in pain
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that part is a scenery part such as you seen a guy walking in the rain toward you, blood dripping out of his eyes, panting from the pain. the guy come up to you and say "I've been a victim of god, I've been bully by bikers" or whatever, it's just an example for creating image in mind.