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barry2 · 07-29-2007, 10:17 PM

its my second time attempting to actually write outside of school. In school i didnt care and just rhymed stuff and hoped it made sense....kinda like this actually.

Thanks for the critisim. Im trying to replace a couple lines in the song like the go read my letter.... and the dutchess thing i might just take out.

But heres a uh like a chorus type thing... its kinda stupid but w/e so are some artists lyrics out now too.

Waters on the horizon
Breaking up the sky
watching all the raindrops
hit the ground and die.

07-29-2007, 10:17 PM	#8 (permalink)
barry2 Groupie Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 18	its my second time attempting to actually write outside of school. In school i didnt care and just rhymed stuff and hoped it made sense....kinda like this actually. Thanks for the critisim. Im trying to replace a couple lines in the song like the go read my letter.... and the dutchess thing i might just take out. But heres a uh like a chorus type thing... its kinda stupid but w/e so are some artists lyrics out now too. Waters on the horizon Breaking up the sky watching all the raindrops hit the ground and die. __________________ BASS PLAYERS RULE drums and guitars too....