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Old 09-05-2007, 07:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
Crowe
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I saw that you made a comment in one of Cquill's lyrics that his attention to punctuation and the sort would be beneficial for his craft. I think that is an admirable observation on it's own, yet I see that your own use of these things might lead some readers to confusion. I would say pay attention to your capitalization at the beginning of your lines and the run on first sentence, which is grammatically incorrect but useful in some forms of prose and poetry. I did enjoy the poem, though. The imagery and the aches you feel for the narrator's futility in his nonification issues is really subtle and rich. This is not easy to accomplish in such a short piece. Nice~
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