Quote:
I don't know,
why do i always feel sick,
either emotionally,
or physically,
i know it's not depression,
i've been through it enough.
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This would sound better if it was "I don't know why I always feel sick." I'd also take out either.
Quote:
Perhaps it's something,
that my mind thinks i'm holding back.
Perhaps i'm keeping something away from myself,
like seperation or bringing something together.
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Don't see anything wrong with this.
Quote:
Whatever it may be,
I hope it's found soon,
i want to remain happy,
but to my stomach,
that emotion doesn't happen too much.
Emotionally,
im always attempting happiness,
and it's helped.
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I'd just take out emotionally, it doesn't play too big a role and its kind of a singled out word used twice very close together.
Quote:
Along with my happiness,
i have my friends,
minus my family.
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I'd change the last line to I have my friends but not my family, it just sounds nicer.
Quote:
My friends are the ones that keep me going,
and help me find what i am needing to find.
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Take off to find, needing works just as well and its that whole double word thing again.
Quote:
Just hope I find it soon,
i want to feel rejuvenated,
and cured.
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I'd end it just with "I want to feel cured" rejuvenated is kind of a silly word.
It's good aside from the few things I pointed out.