The first verse was good. It went downhill from there. The "run away" repetition didn't work, because it was cliche and uninteresting. The last verse is composed largely of the same line over and over. Also, never, ever say "coz." If you're a serious writer, you won't insult the rest of us with internet grammar and spelling. 7/10 for the first verse, 1/10 for verses 2 and 3.
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Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:
What's with people dying? Shit.
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