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Old 12-13-2007, 12:02 PM   #12 (permalink)
Dizzys in the wolf
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ireland
Posts: 158
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I know what a rhyme is. I've never even heard the world Thorazine before ^^ so I don't think I did too badly.

There is nothing wrong with stepping outside the little song writing box every now and again, This might work better if you cut it down, a lot. To maybe like 4 lines? Its too long to have any impact, it just comes accross kinda lazy and unexciting. have a look at my new one if you have a minute.
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There’s something about seeing this city at night
Where we can say what we want and do what we like.
These streets are empty but we don't feel alone,
We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.
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