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Old 12-13-2007, 11:55 AM   #11 (permalink)
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nope, that's one word. mosaic rhymes are when you rhyme a long word with more than one short one:

thorazine
you're the queen

see how all three syllables match?

also, magazine doesn't rhyme with thorazine. they are identical in the last syllable. rhymes need to start with different consonants. zine/mean
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Old 12-13-2007, 12:02 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I know what a rhyme is. I've never even heard the world Thorazine before ^^ so I don't think I did too badly.

There is nothing wrong with stepping outside the little song writing box every now and again, This might work better if you cut it down, a lot. To maybe like 4 lines? Its too long to have any impact, it just comes accross kinda lazy and unexciting. have a look at my new one if you have a minute.
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Old 12-13-2007, 01:08 PM   #13 (permalink)
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haha your trying to turn songwriting into a science.... let it flow.. dont sit there and TRY to make lyrics..... when you do that it sucks.. i think these lessons you suggested for me were like a nazi camp...
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Old 12-14-2007, 04:47 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dizzys in the wolf View Post
it actually works scarily well with "Pop goes the weasel".
Buuuurrrrrrn
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Quote:
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I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.



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Old 12-14-2007, 09:12 AM   #15 (permalink)
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you might not like it, but undisciplined lyric writing usually results in unsingable lyrics
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Old 12-14-2007, 09:26 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I wasn't aware lyrics HAD to be sung.
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Old 12-14-2007, 09:39 AM   #17 (permalink)
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lyrics DONT need to be sung. they just need to be so well written that if people read them they will say "hey, i can sing this" but you dont HAVE to sing them...lol.
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Old 12-14-2007, 01:25 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I think some of the best songs are the ones where you can read the lyrics on the page and have no idea how the hell anyone could sing it and make it sound good but they do.
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Old 12-14-2007, 04:07 PM   #19 (permalink)
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lyrics are written for the ears, poetry is written for the eyes, and both have rules
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Old 12-14-2007, 04:55 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I hate it when people make up for crappy lyrics by saying "it's a song." It's a cop out.
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