Music Banter - View Single Post - (Work In Progress) but anyone want to review??

guitaristR2 · 01-07-2008, 02:00 AM

hey, im new to songwriting, only been writing songs for a year or two, and plus ive been in writers block for a while. BUT, i just recently wrote soemthin, nd i need your guys's help wit reviewing it. do you think you can help? thanks for all who do =)

Stillness Of the Night

Laying here all alone
This room is as still as stone
I just wish you were with me
Everything moves so silently
I only want your company
But at least I know youre in my dreams
Touching your necklace for comfort
talking quiet as if you were
On my bed invisibly listening
Oh how I want to see your eyes
As I think of our most recent goodbye
I miss you so longingly

And as I go to sleep
You are all I see
I then sart to remember
How my life got better, by the joy you bring

In the stillness of the night
I think peacefully
of how you affect my life
No more getting lost again
My days of wandering have come to an end
As the lightning strikes
I wish I could hold you
and keep you safe witin my sight
One day ill show you what youve done for me is right
As i think in the stillness of the night

Well thats it so far, any suggestions on how to make it better?

01-07-2008, 02:00 AM	#1 (permalink)
guitaristR2 Groupie Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: caliornia Posts: 2	(Work In Progress) but anyone want to review?? hey, im new to songwriting, only been writing songs for a year or two, and plus ive been in writers block for a while. BUT, i just recently wrote soemthin, nd i need your guys's help wit reviewing it. do you think you can help? thanks for all who do =) Stillness Of the Night Laying here all alone This room is as still as stone I just wish you were with me Everything moves so silently I only want your company But at least I know youre in my dreams Touching your necklace for comfort talking quiet as if you were On my bed invisibly listening Oh how I want to see your eyes As I think of our most recent goodbye I miss you so longingly And as I go to sleep You are all I see I then sart to remember How my life got better, by the joy you bring In the stillness of the night I think peacefully of how you affect my life No more getting lost again My days of wandering have come to an end As the lightning strikes I wish I could hold you and keep you safe witin my sight One day ill show you what youve done for me is right As i think in the stillness of the night Well thats it so far, any suggestions on how to make it better?