What are you expecting when you show this girl of your dreams those lyrics? It's not exactly inspirational stuff is it?
The first two lines are passable I guess, even if it's terribly cliche and predictable. The next three lines are just utterly unnecessary...they don't add anything whatsoever to what you're trying to do. What is the point in them? They're also so awkward I can practically see this girl's face cringe. Ditch those and PROGRESS!
Seriously though, better advice is NOT to write a song for a girl until you're dating her (if you must at all). Something tells me you are not dating this girl, can't think what it is but...
good luck.
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