looks like some excellent and well phrased lyrics to me, I think I'm dropping out of this forum though. These could be great songs I think, just depends on how you play them. it's really impossible for me to tell with just the lyrics.
I think it's better to be redundant than to try to change directions in the middle of a song. as long as there is something interesting going on with the music, a bridge, change in orchestration, a solo maybe. reference all the early Beatles stuff, very redundant lyrics. they did ok with it :-)
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