this is something i just copied and pasted from college humor
Christian Bale: ...Although you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours. I simply am not there...
Christian's Mother: Thanks for...telling us that, honey.
Christian: You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a lit--
Mother: No I prefer good music.
Christian: You didn't let me finish...
Christian's Sister: Say bro, got any Dunkaroos I can snack on?
Christian: You're going to have the roasted duck with peanut butter soup. New York Matinee called it a playful, but mysterious little dish.
Sister: Nah, that sounds pretty bad
Christian (mutters): You're a f*cking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death. Then play around with your blood.
Sister: WHAT? Did... did you think we couldn't hear that for some reason? Cause we totally could.
Mother: Christian! What an awful, rude, violent and kind of sexist thing to say!
Christian: You know what Ed Gein said about women?
Sister: Ed Gein, Maitre'd at Canal Bar?
Mother: It doesn't matter! Chris--are you eating your sister's leg!?!?
Christian: I'm a child of divorce, give me a break!
Mother: You need some serious help.
Christian: I'm leaving. I've assessed the situation, and I'm going.
Sister: Where are you going?
Christian: I have to return some videotapes....
Sister: Seriously? This is 2008, even DVD's have gotten old. You are such a fruit.
Mother: Christian is that a chainsaw...?