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Old 07-30-2008, 08:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
Da Hiphopopotamus
 
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Default How I Imagined the Christian Bale Assault Allegations Occurred

this is something i just copied and pasted from college humor

Christian Bale: ...Although you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours. I simply am not there...

Christian's Mother: Thanks for...telling us that, honey.

Christian: You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a lit--

Mother: No I prefer good music.

Christian: You didn't let me finish...

Christian's Sister: Say bro, got any Dunkaroos I can snack on?

Christian: You're going to have the roasted duck with peanut butter soup. New York Matinee called it a playful, but mysterious little dish.

Sister: Nah, that sounds pretty bad

Christian (mutters): You're a f*cking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death. Then play around with your blood.

Sister: WHAT? Did... did you think we couldn't hear that for some reason? Cause we totally could.

Mother: Christian! What an awful, rude, violent and kind of sexist thing to say!

Christian: You know what Ed Gein said about women?

Sister: Ed Gein, Maitre'd at Canal Bar?

Mother: It doesn't matter! Chris--are you eating your sister's leg!?!?

Christian: I'm a child of divorce, give me a break!

Mother: You need some serious help.

Christian: I'm leaving. I've assessed the situation, and I'm going.

Sister: Where are you going?

Christian: I have to return some videotapes....

Sister: Seriously? This is 2008, even DVD's have gotten old. You are such a fruit.

Mother: Christian is that a chainsaw...?
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sweet nothing openly flaunts the fact that he is merely the empty shell of an even more unadmirable member. his loneliness and need for attention bleeds through every letter he types. edit: i would just like to add that i'm ashamed that he's from texas. surely you didn't grow up in texas, did you sweet nothing?
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Old 07-31-2008, 12:26 AM   #2 (permalink)
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What just happened?
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Old 07-31-2008, 01:43 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I guess you've never seen American Pyscho.
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America does folk, hardcore and mathrock better and that's 90% of what I give 2 shits on.
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sweet nothing openly flaunts the fact that he is merely the empty shell of an even more unadmirable member. his loneliness and need for attention bleeds through every letter he types. edit: i would just like to add that i'm ashamed that he's from texas. surely you didn't grow up in texas, did you sweet nothing?
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Old 07-31-2008, 06:50 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I have...so I found this blurb mildly amusing.
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Old 07-31-2008, 06:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Watched it again last night. I haven't read the book but am i right in assuming there's quite a few interpretations into what the fuck happens in it?
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Old 07-31-2008, 07:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Watched it again last night. I haven't read the book but am i right in assuming there's quite a few interpretations into what the fuck happens in it?
The books good but alot more violent and gruesome than the film. One of the things I love about both is by the end you can't tell if Patrick was just imagining doing those things or if he actually did them.
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America does folk, hardcore and mathrock better and that's 90% of what I give 2 shits on.
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sweet nothing openly flaunts the fact that he is merely the empty shell of an even more unadmirable member. his loneliness and need for attention bleeds through every letter he types. edit: i would just like to add that i'm ashamed that he's from texas. surely you didn't grow up in texas, did you sweet nothing?
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Old 07-31-2008, 07:13 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I know that he's pretty much imagining it when he's saying all the violent stuff to people and when he's drawing that pic of the chainsaw death at dinner with his fiancee.
I'm guessing he did kill people, it just wasn't as many as he thought and it wasn't in the massively far-fetched ways it was portrayed. Killing someone with a chainsaw makes a lot of mess, y'know?
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Old 07-31-2008, 07:17 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Plus she was screaming and on banging doors of other people's apartments, and I doubt New Yorkers are that rude to not help or call the cops.
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America does folk, hardcore and mathrock better and that's 90% of what I give 2 shits on.
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sweet nothing openly flaunts the fact that he is merely the empty shell of an even more unadmirable member. his loneliness and need for attention bleeds through every letter he types. edit: i would just like to add that i'm ashamed that he's from texas. surely you didn't grow up in texas, did you sweet nothing?
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