Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatsitoosit
wasn't it obvious? "cause my tint is resistant " 
Not bad Jay, of course this may work extremely well to music... as a written piece I felt the beginning and end flowed nicely and the middle not so much. A lot of the end rhymes and phrasing were like mini stop signs for me but overall I felt it was well thought out. |
Thanks for the comments, it was not well thought out however. All of my poems are free lance stream of conscious, you sort of have to get the cadence of that middle section to make it work, otherwise there are too many words that rhyme to really keep the tempo. It's written in the a style common in African English language Poetry I am quite fond of. The first and last stanza's are just traditional rhythm and phrasing. Nice catch by the way on the formatic change.