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Old 09-16-2008, 04:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
Wifey Boozer
Meanie McFeany
 
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY
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I liked it up until the cliche "eyes as bright as stars" simile. And I don't like the last line. Like the analogy/metaphor of a shepard.
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