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Old 09-16-2008, 12:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
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Location: Dallas, TX
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Default Teddy Bear

Teddybear



Shepard awaits question,
Answers with care,
To create this,
From bare;
Skin untouched
Eyes as bright as stars
See diamonds
In her heart
Parting beliefs
Commanding words
Inanimate cure
A hurting world
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The Search for the Meaning of Life...
Love...
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Old 09-16-2008, 04:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
Meanie McFeany
 
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I liked it up until the cliche "eyes as bright as stars" simile. And I don't like the last line. Like the analogy/metaphor of a shepard.
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