Teddy Bear - Music Banter Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-16-2008, 12:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
RAVE -N-'s Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 13
Default Teddy Bear


Shepard awaits question,
Answers with care,
To create this,
From bare;
Skin untouched
Eyes as bright as stars
See diamonds
In her heart
Parting beliefs
Commanding words
Inanimate cure
A hurting world
The Search for the Meaning of Life...
RAVE -N- is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-16-2008, 04:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
Meanie McFeany
Wifey Boozer's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY
Posts: 455

I liked it up until the cliche "eyes as bright as stars" simile. And I don't like the last line. Like the analogy/metaphor of a shepard.

... Stalin had a FANTASTIC moustache.

Formerly known as the Prime Minister of Spain.

Wifey Boozer is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads

© 2003-2022 Advameg, Inc.