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Old 11-16-2008, 04:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
aveneficus
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
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I liked this a lot.
I have only one suggestion:
In the last line of the third stanza, possibly changing the word 'like' to 'as'.
It keeps the same meaning, but I feel like it flows a bit better.
Just a suggestion, good work.
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