Thread
:
Decay
View Single Post
11-16-2008, 04:28 PM
#
7
(
permalink
)
aveneficus
Groupie
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 44
I liked this a lot.
I have only one suggestion:
In the last line of the third stanza, possibly changing the word 'like' to 'as'.
It keeps the same meaning, but I feel like it flows a bit better.
Just a suggestion, good work.
aveneficus
View Public Profile
Send a private message to aveneficus
Find More Posts by aveneficus