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Old 01-04-2009, 07:30 PM   #14 (permalink)
aveneficus
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cincinnati, OH
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This is a good piece of poetry with a pretty clever rhyme scheme and a decent flow.
The one part that stood out to me as needing work, or needing to be cut out entirely was:
Quote:
I would express these feelings to people I know
but these thoughts they are my own
a work of art
deep and depressing
I don't understand why people
keep messing
with my emotions
As for your situation and your source of depression, I cannot relate. But the general feelings, I feel ya.
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