Surell

Once there was Wallsworth the Walrus and Richard the Raptor. They did not know each other, for, as Wallsworth would put it: “He was like across the pond”. When they met, it was a wild experiment made by some strange higher power. Wallsworth there interrogated “Alright good sir, I must ask: Do you bare batteries?” Rick says:
“No, I only got butter.” And the friendship started here. You see, Wallsworth was no athlete, so Rick made up on that disadvantage. They were living together on a glacier that was attacked on constantly for their oil and other resources.
They were once attacked by a white whale. Richard sure took care of him real quick like, without a stain on his clothes. Wallsworth once commented “Our oil is not for scallywags like the Presidential Candidate of Piratetown Bernie Madoff. This isn’t ignorant business… it just isn’t bright to give your oil to retards.” After that interview, he retreated to his den where he probably escaped. He was found in February because of the warrant for his arrest for Battery. He had been especially drunk and fought a dog named Fredward, who absolutely destroyed his car. “To think a dog defeated me in fisticuffs is a disgrace!” he exclaimed.
Richard doesn’t talk too often, but on this subject, he said “Wally ain’t no scrapper; but he’s got heart.” And on that note, he ate our cameraman.
Richard and Wallsworth still reside on that glacier, awaiting the fate that comes to oil withholders. God knows what that will bring.

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