Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubber
just a stylistic thing I felt like trying out. skewing the word skewed.
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Yeah, concret poetry is cool sometimes (where you create a concept by physically doing something to your poem, like making it in the shape of a tree). Not really my favorite device personally, but I can appreciate it.
I can't tell, or didn't spend enough time, figuring what the work as a whole means and was only able to pick-up bits and pieces. But I like the feeling of some of the imagery, it seems raw. "Root-spread nerve endings" That's painful to hear, for example. Unless you purposefully fluctuated the mood of your poem and I'm missing it because I missed the meaning, my advice would be to try and keep that raw mood throughout the work.
Overall, decent work though. Better then I thought it would be, maybe I'll read over some more of yours but I am sort of staped for time lately. But again, really liking some of the raw imagery.