Music Banter - View Single Post - the-hippy's Songwriting Journal

the-hippy · 05-10-2009, 07:19 AM

i posted this song earlier on in the forum but i could do with some help with it...i think it has some good ideas behind it but it just looses all rythem mid-verse so all help/critisism would be appreciated...thanks

Summers Here

Swallows, mud-pies
This goes to show
Summer is here
but I’m shivering under these blue sky’s

but sun, please don’t set
Tomorrow she’ll be gone
Our record together will come to an end
You would rather walk away with someone I don’t know

I just want to ask you to come back
But I just cant think how
Why do you have to go?
You don’t know what your missing
All this time I just wanted to kiss you but I…

I could only sing those depressing love songs
But you, you could sing them all
But now please can you stay with me?
Cus your walking down a road I don’t know.

Remember that time we went to see your favourite band
We talked of our strangest dreams
Where did this go?
I remember talking bout sunsets with you
Well this is our final sunset

But I don’t want the sun to set
Cus tomorrow morning your leaving me here
Our record together is coming to an end
You would rather walk away with someone I don’t know

I’m sat in our room
Looking at your fur coat and favourite boots
And a note all you wrote was you’ll be gone by morning
I’m having trouble handling this
All I wanted to do was give you that very last kiss but I just didn’t know how

Your perfect do you know?
I could only sing those depressing love songs
But you, you could sing them all
But now please can you stay with me?
Cus your walking down a road I don’t know.

05-10-2009, 07:19 AM	#28 (permalink)
the-hippy Groupie Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: bristol, UK Posts: 13	help with this song? i posted this song earlier on in the forum but i could do with some help with it...i think it has some good ideas behind it but it just looses all rythem mid-verse so all help/critisism would be appreciated...thanks Summers Here Swallows, mud-pies This goes to show Summer is here but I’m shivering under these blue sky’s but sun, please don’t set Tomorrow she’ll be gone Our record together will come to an end You would rather walk away with someone I don’t know I just want to ask you to come back But I just cant think how Why do you have to go? You don’t know what your missing All this time I just wanted to kiss you but I… I could only sing those depressing love songs But you, you could sing them all But now please can you stay with me? Cus your walking down a road I don’t know. Remember that time we went to see your favourite band We talked of our strangest dreams Where did this go? I remember talking bout sunsets with you Well this is our final sunset But I don’t want the sun to set Cus tomorrow morning your leaving me here Our record together is coming to an end You would rather walk away with someone I don’t know I’m sat in our room Looking at your fur coat and favourite boots And a note all you wrote was you’ll be gone by morning I’m having trouble handling this All I wanted to do was give you that very last kiss but I just didn’t know how Your perfect do you know? I could only sing those depressing love songs But you, you could sing them all But now please can you stay with me? Cus your walking down a road I don’t know. Last edited by the-hippy; 05-10-2009 at 09:02 AM.